1. Fence Construction:
I'd assume the electrification of the fence would rely on some computer program making sure that the security and integrity of the fence are kept in tact. But gays are excellent computer programmers, bloggers, techies. It wouldn't take more than a few days until they figured out how to de-electrify the fence, or blogged to their friends for an escape route, thus escaping and trickling back into the general population. If they stopped wearing jorts and belly shirts we'd probably never be able to round them all up again even if we did restore the fence.
2. Site Location:
Where would we locate all of these gays. I'd assume there be a huge NGIMBY (no gays in my backyard) campaign. Much like cellphone and electric towers causing cancer, a massive assembly of gays would certainly cause Gay. I don't know about you, but I don't want to come down with that disease. I'm perfectly fine shopping at Target and eating Mcdonald's twice a week. Also, would you want to hear the Jonas Brothers belting over an electric fence all day and night? Don't think so, NGIMBY!
3. Family Uprising:
Think of all the families that would be up in arms when they go to their family reunion and their gay uncle is not there. You know, the one who makes inappropriate comments and sneaks all you under 21ers wine coolers?
4. Vocabulary
Some of the best curse words in our modern vocabulary would no longer be usable. Phrases like "Thats gay" would mean "thats removed, foreign, desolate", and "you're a fa**ot" would come to mean "you are someone who receives meals by helicopter inside an electric fence". What kind of message are we sending to our children if we take homophobic slurs out of their vocabulary. And why should it be ok to keep using racial slurs but not gay ones? Wheres the funding for mexican and black fences going to come from?
Despite Charles Worley's cogent, in-depth plan to irradicate the world of gays, it appears that it is a little short-sighted. What Charles Worley has succeed in doing is shining a light on a unifying issue. We're all aware of how serious a plague the gays are. Never did we have this fear in the days of Oscar Wilde, Thoreau, and Tchaikovsky. But for now, Mr. Worley, your plan is a little 'gay'.
